sheeesh.

this keen is damn annoying. ask me eat with him then still arrange for his just as annoying gf to come pick him up. RETARDED OK. think i'm what. ahmad ar. i may enjoy driving but i dun enjoy playing second fiddle ok. ass. n don't come n tell me that he thought i was going to meet derrick. that's a different arrangement altogether that doesn't involve him. the bottom line is he asked me to eat with him. wtf.

like whatever la ok. dunno whether he did it on purpose or not. bloody hell. n i drove right beside her peugeot. should have just ram her back. but nah. spoil my camry only. i somemore act friendly and smile AND wave at her lor. nah beh. n she has to gimme a meek smile in return. macham i'm going to bite her like that. roll my eyes can. yes yes she's the damsel in distress while i'm the bitch. like whatever. i feel like socking her in the face and deflate her kong bah bao face.

and this derrick also another one. i mean i appreciate his nice gesture to come pick me up and go out coz i complained i was feeling bored. but he suggested watching dvd at my place. like HUH?
abit weird can. so i said just drive around la. then he said ok. but he took a little long getting ready that i changed my mind and told him i was feeling lazy. whoooops. hope he isn't irritated or upset. :p but i promised him to go out with him someday and fill him in on everything that has been happening.

jerm thinks im getting obsessed with the thai guys. wahhaha.coz i kept changing my msn pics of them. i can't tell if he's still jealous of them or not. haha. sometimes he jokes abt them but sometimes he genuinely sounds jealous. hmmmm.

might be meeting him tmr after my paddling and after he ends school. shall see how. dom's asking me to go FOP too with him, belle, meilian and nio. n a few others i think. but weird la. i mean i still say grace and read the daily bread every now and then. but i dunno if i'm ready to feel the presence of God yet. i haven't been to church for damn long and it's a huge step by going straight to the festival of praise. it's too overwhelming. i need to take 1 step at a time. and pushing me or pressuring me won't help. i got a little irritated with nio when she kept bugging me to go. dunno issit coz she really wants me to go or she wants my company. oh well. i shall see how tmr. bah. i kept joking with them that i've backslided too much and i've got one foot 'down there' already. hur hur. ok la it's no laughing matter. but aiyah. like i said, i need time. oh well. boo :(

went to keen's place to burn Lost. almost done just 4 more episodes to go! once again he kept asking me abt me n jerm. mad. how to answer when i don't even noe wat's going on myself. like i said, he probably does feel a little something but he's isn't doing anything actively about it. and neither will i make any move coz i'm unsure myself. so technically, i can safely say there's nothing going on. so he shud just stop bugging me. not everyone is a him n lydia, accelerating in their r/ship like nobody's business. they're not even 1 mth together and they're doing things that took me n him 4 yrs to happen. i shall not go into details wat things are. geez man. whatever happened to 'i want to take it slow'?

slow indeed. if that's slow, i think snails can crawl faster than i can paddle. n it's weirder that he still expects me to wait when his r/ship with her is so established and developed in that sense. ridiculous la. what am i then? his spare tyre that hangs around until she leaves? MAD. i'm not that foolish ok.

i won't be surprised if i receive a wedding card from the both of them by end of this mth at the rate they're going.

hurrrrr hurrr.

tssssssssk. where's the good old fashion luurrrvveee? these days everything's just a mad rush. rushing for wat i also dunno. macham the world going to end. i mean yah dats wat pple have been saying. but nothing's happening yet what. so why not take the time and smell the roses.

i mean it's true time is precious and shouldn't be wasted. but that doesn't mean we disregard the simpler things along the way and rush for the finishing point. it's the journey that matters. i have no idea where the destination is for me n keen or for anybody else. but for now, at least those 4 yrs that i went through will mean alot more to me. couples now may just go right into sex within 1 mth of knowing each other. tsk. kids these days.

it just makes me wonder. sigh.

4.53 am. shit. and i've got training at 1.30 pm. ok not really training but just paddling for fun since nothing to do. hope i can wake up mannnn.

oh and i met a road block on the way home. heng sia. i wasn't speeding. and the mata asked me when i came from and i told him toa payoh. dunno why it matters also. oh well. it would have been more fun if he asked for my license. i thought i looked like someone who's driving illegally. then when he asked i can proudly whip out my license and shove it under his nose. ahahaha. ok i'm being boh liao.

5.12am. i really need to sleeeep!