nice n brown.

ok la i think i'm TOO brown. so not very nice. hur hur. so melayu looking.

i'm freaking tired. which is good. i hope i can sleep early tonight. got a 10km race at 9am tmr. BAHHHHHHHH.

haven't been sleeping much lately. last night my room was invaded by a stinking cockroach at 12 plus am lor. bloody hell. i think i was in the midst of talking to jerm, pauleon and stella when i saw this brown thing flew in. i practically fell of my chair while bursting out of the room. i didn't really see what it was but my instincts when it comes to cockroaches and beetles are always correct. so there i was, stuck outside my own room not knowing what to do. my hp's trapped inside too, my brother's not home and i dun think it would be nice to wake my parents or my maid up. BOOOOO. in the end i gave jerm a call and started complaining and whining to him non stop. he was quite nice about it la. he was supposed to finish up some write up on this flu patient and he was like 3/4 through it at 1am. somemore have to wake up at 6am to move house but he decided to entertain me. whooooops. n even offered to come my place and catch it for me. RIGHHHHHHT. dunno if he's for real or not. obviously i told him don't be crazy.

woke my dad up in the end to catch it. hee.

woke up late for training AGAIN this morning. supposed to be at MR at 7.30am but i woke up at 7.45am. hee. once again, i rushed down in a cab. boo. training was quite light and abit waste time. oh well.

met keen for a tan (was supposed to swim but everybody's like NOOO how can swim b4 comp!!!ur joints will loosen then cannot race properRRLYY!!)

ooohhkkaaay. din swim in the end la. just tanned and lazed around the pool with keen. we started off with a slight quarrel though but in the end we had a good talk and started crapping like old friends. although there were points i felt weird when he talked about lydia. like asking me if it's appropriate to go to her office n give her flowers. YAWN. i may be ok listening to certain things about her but don't ask me stupid questions like how to win her trust. wtf. this kind of things DO IT YOURSELF.

the canoeing peeps were at jen's house playing mahjong and i was feeling lazy and tired. came home instead after dropping keen off and slept from 4 till about 6? geez. i hope i can still sleep early tonight. 3 races tmr is not funny ok. somemore the first race is at 9am. not 250m, not 500m, not 1km but 10 freaking km can? eeeks. n i feel added pressure becoz me n nio are in the marathon team so we're expected to perform. which means come in top 3? and there r like 10 freaking boats competing. boo. n it doesn't help when mr goh said "i'll be watching u all!"

bah.

boring friday night. when im out, i wish i could be home nua-ing. then when im home, i wish i was out doing something. i'm like damn weird.

keen said im damn fickle. one moment wanna be the old xh, the next i wanna be like this strong independent woman.

eh??

ok i don't think that's damn fickle and i totally disagree. i'm still the old xiaohui. i'm still spoilt and bratty and i still like someone to pamper me and love me. i still would do things and sacrifice when it comes to the guy i love. the only thing that has changed is probably the fact that i'm not so dependent anymore and i've learnt that it's important to give each other space in a r/ship and let ur other half have a life too instead of revolving around each other's world.

and of coz i appear more strong headed now. but that's coz i'm pretty much adapting to being single and i have to learn to be more independent wat. but obviously once in a while i still crumble and long for someone to depend on. oh well. the chronicles of my life. from a whiny girl who's over dependent to one who's craving for space in a r/ship. hmmmm. from a girl who said things like "i will love you forever" to just "i love you. period."

sigh. such puppy love. innocent and genuine yet unrealistic in some ways.

i want a r/ship that's practical. not a guy making empty promises like how he'll love me forever. but a guy who tells me he'll love me with all his heart. (note: not 99.9%. but 100% or even 101%).

and of coz a little bit of making out. (a right amount of passion does wonders for a r/ship i feel) not too much of coz i dowanna feel like rabbits. and too little just makes it fizzle.

making time for dates, away from the crowd (no more of those going town on weekends), just doing simple things together like lazing at each other's place would do fine too.

understanding each other's need for space, supporting each other in the things they wanna do and telling each other how they really feel when one party is unhappy will be necessary. (i do not appreciate it when u tell me 'nothing' when i can see it clearly in ur du lan face)

what else? hmmmm. can't think of anymore. shall write more about this when i feel more awake.

oh yeah. b4 i forget, i heard some ridiculous quote from that lydia of his again. that she has 'trust issues' so she can't commit too much in their r/ship.

come on la. SIMI trust issues?! u can't trust someone then get together for fuck?? maybe it's literally for fuck.

but then again, that's not what i heard. he seemed to be complaining that he's not getting much. sheesh. whatever dudeeee.

talked to keen's mom today. kinda miss her actually. she's such a good natured and genuine person. i had half a mind to ask her how's keen's new gf but i decided against it. it might be abit awkward. hur hur. ended up asking about her work and telling her about my driving and all. n she said i put on weight!hahaha. ok la something new for once. rather then people always asking me if i lost weight AGAIN or whether i'm aneroxic or why am i so skinny i should eat more. *roll my eyes*

well keen's mom said i look better. i think she's bluffing. hahahaaha.

bored. and my parents just went out with the car. shit man they're more happening than me. maybe i should ask chee ee out. he's as bored as me.

zzz.