SHUDDDUP already.

i'm getting seriously annoyed with this particular person.

let's call him S.

he talks too much and whenever he starts talking i just wanna roll my eyes out of my sockets and throw it in his face.

i mean yah, he's smart and all, i can't deny that fact and he seems to know quite abit about the canoeing scene, but THAT DOESN'T GIVE HIM A RIGHT TO BUTT IN ALL THE TIME.

sometimes i wish i was in a team sports. as in like really TEAM kind. not like canoeing where we call ourselves a team sport when in actual fact it's more of an individualistic sport. i want the real team kind of sport like netball or even dragonboating. u noe, 24 hearts, 1 mind, 1 stroke. how cool is that.

in canoeing, it can get really competitive among friends, even with your own partner. and it's sad when the friendship out of the boat starts becoming a little strained. there's like this unsaid tension and it's a feeling that's hard to explain. it's even sadder when u feel like ur partner is aiming for greener pastures and u're not at the same place she's at. and yet u don't want to pull her back n stop her from aiming higher.

sigh.

i'm feeling whiny and needy. I HATE FEELING THIS WAY. it sucks. i feel like i wanna be alone yet i feel like i need someone around me.

i was talking to jeremy and he was doing a pretty good job trying to soothe me. i was feeling horrid throughout dinner and i wanted to get away from everyone asap. and whenever i feel this way, nobody should ever ask me "ARE YOU OKAAYYYY?" coz i'll just burst out crying. i dun really noe how this works but it's kinda funny now that i think about it. and that was what happened when i called jeremy at the bus stop after i left the group. i didn't exactly burst out crying but i actually started tearing in the middle of the bus stop.

horrors of horrors mannnn. thank goodness the bus stop was empty.

anyway, i dunno whether i'm expecting less in this r/ship or i've changed in some ways but things seemed somewhat different.

there i was whining and complaining online and jeremy said something like MAYBE he'll make a trip down to see me tmr cos i'm like so depressed and all.

see right, under normal circumstances in the past when i was in the r/ship with keen, i would have screamed and threw a tantrum and said something like:

WAT U MEAN MAYBE!!! U MEAN THERE'S A POSSIBILITY U MIGHT NOT COME AND SEE ME TMR??I'M SAD AND U DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!! @#!$@%!*

ok maybe not that maniac-sounding but somewhere along that line la.

instead, i actually told him don't bother and i'm pretty much fine. like u noe, don't trouble urself by coming all the way down coz i noe it's one of my nonsensical whiny pms moments.

it's kinda freaky that i'm not that demanding. YET. hurr. oh well. he should savour these moments b4 i actually start erupting one day.

blehhhh.

i wanna sleep badly. but there are tons of things on my mind now i feel like i can't sleep in peace.

booo i wanna cry :~(

i shall hide under my blanket where no one can see.

*sniffles*