depressed :(

ok i'm not really depressed. maybe i'm pms-ing. i dunno.

but having an injured arm/shoulder and not being able to do anything about it except "just rest lor" is making me more depressed than ever. it's like breaking up where the other party makes a decision to dump you, and you have no power to do anything but to sit around and mope.

i dunno if i'm making a big deal out of this but i think the last thing any sportsperson would want is an injury of a part of the body that is crucial to the particular sport. and like duhh, any retard will know that canoeists need their arms to paddle.

sighhhhh.

i've never gotten any real sports injury before. not even a sprain or torn ligament or whatever. maybe cramp in the legs, blisters/abrasions or slight ache/pain in the shoulder/back/arms/muscles etc. so a dislocated shoulder causing prolonged pain is quite devastating.

AND demoralising. i took like almost an hour to paddle 4km today cos i was paddling so slowly i think a turtle lapped me twice. plus my left arm was doing most of the work cos i didn't wanna aggravate my stupid right shoulder. i think it made me look constipated.

yah larrrr i'm damn drama. whatever.

and my maid left. boohooo. so poor injured me has to wash/iron the clothes, wash the toilets/dishes and mop the floors. i mean, with my brother and dad working, and my mom not well, it does make sense that i HAVE to do the chores right. bah. i mean i did casually remark something along the line of oh my GOD i'm so bored i wish i had something to do. i wasn't expecting Him to answer my prayers by giving me cinderella's job (i REFUSED to call myself mariam).

mind you, i'm not complaining that i have to do those chores cos i'm some spoilt princess or something. it's just that since i'm in a state of depression, might as well wallow in self pity right.

booooooooohooooooooooooo :'(



edited at 3.07 am: FUCK LA THERE'S A COCKROACH AND A BEETLE IN MY ROOM!!!!! KNN. fucking insects. i hope they sodomize each other to death.

whoever tells me to chill or the whole shit about tomorrow being a better day will see my foot shoved up your puny ass.