hmmmm.

do guys think vulnerable girls make easy target?

all of a sudden, there seemed to be this influx of guys asking me out.

did i just produce an aura that says: i'm sad and i need somebody?

whatever it is, i'm not stupid and i'm not that easy to 'get'. tsk tsk.

i'm still wondering if i should go out with tim john this coming tuesday. this is one guy who has been asking me out since jc days and not once have i gone out with him coz keen had something against him.

even after we broke up, i still didn't think it was right to accept his request for dinners and suppers.


and i think i should finally meet up with Chee Ee too. i feel bad that he has been asking me out too but i kept turning him down. keen didn't really like him too coz this guy has been liking me since sec sch.

and yet another canoeing senior, gujin, asked me out for supper. this dude was my legs and paddles partner 2 years ago. keen was supposed to join it with me but he couldn't book out on sunday. anyway, he seemed really sweet. he bought me this little bouncing pink pig cos i mentioned b4 that i like pink pigs.

sigh. why do i choose to reject their requests to bring me out. they're all nice guys actually. i should stop being so silly.

oh well. i'm just gonna see where things bring me to. maybe i might just end up with one of them. haha. nah..it'll just be a rebound. i'm not a bitch.

OHHHHH. there's gonna be fireworks tmr at NUS!! how cool. lam n gao wants to go. it's a 15 mins display at the engineering car park. i love fireworks! :)

maybe i'll ask jeremy if he wanna go with me. come to think of it, i haven't mentioned him at all ever since i started this blog. which is like 2 days. haha. oh man. 4 posts in 2 days. i feel so addicted to blogging. it's so much more fun having the feeling of being able to write about anything without having an audience or strangers judging u.

ok back to jeremy. i kinda miss him. he's been so busy with his A and E posting i haven't seen much of him. not even online coz his shifts are always until like 10 plus and by the time he gets home and he's so tired. poor boy.

yes yes. damn weird la. i'm in some sense pinning for keen and missing jeremy too. don't make much sense. but i guess it's different. i can't really explain. i enjoy jerm's company. he's really sweet and all. when i'm out with him he makes me feel kinda special. he bought rotiboy for me when i had cravings and when he told me his dad bought boxes of durians and i wanted some, he ended up bringing a whole box for me so i could share with my family. he's really sweet. but at this point of time i'm still confused.

*sigh*

this is really frustrating. maybe i should just delete keen off my life, and give it a chance for something to happen between me n jerm. not that anything will happen coz we're both so confused, but if i would just stop holding back, maybe i could be more open with him about everything. there was this point of time he was like my best friend, but now coz of keen i feel myself withdrawing slightly from him coz i didn't want him to affect my decision about keen. i feel really strongly against rebounds and i wanna be sure my feelings for either keen or him are purely independent.

i'm so fucked up man. why do i get myself into shit like that. sigh.

to digress a little, derrick bought me seventeen magazine. hahaha so funny! i'm like 22 already lor. but yeah, he bought it for me coz the cover said that there's an article on 'how to forget your ex'. hahaha. funny la this derrick. but it was a sweet gesture. and he just asked me online "so now that u're single, does that mean i can ask you out?"
hmmm. i seriously hope he's kidding. it would really be weird. it's like me dating....dom? haha.

ok im falling asleep. haven been sleeping well, training well and eating well. i actually lost a kg from these few days of crying and emotional turmoil. i dread the next few weeks. i actually don't mind school reopening man. i miss studying! hahah YEAH RIGHT. i can't believe i just said that. hur hur.

ok i need to sleep. my eye bags can be coin pouch already.